We often assume it's our skills and abilities shaping our career. But what if it's your Mindset and how you're responding to the world around you that's having the biggest impact on your career success.

This is tricky to see because how we think and feel, as a result of our mindset, is what we know. It's like wearing tinted glasses and forgetting the tint is there.

When we increase our self-awareness, through self-observation or working with a Coach, and begin to look inside to understand what's happening ... we discover the power we all have within us to shift our mindset to one that changes everything.

Mindset challenges are part of the human condition - most of us are navigating the difficulties it throws up daily. The world, relationships, and technology are getting more complex. I think we can all agree on that. What is often missed is the fact that our bodies and brains are not getting the regular system upgrades.

Today, as we go about our lives, manage our teams, and lead our organisations... we are doing so using a body and brain that is still wired for a much simpler time. We must contend with a whole bunch of protection strategies and default behaviours that, if we don't do this work, can really stuff things up for us and others.

We need awareness and more appropriate strategies if we are to maintain resilience, confidence, build strong relationships, and lead effectively.

So, let's start with a quick self-check.

Here's an opportunity to do some bite-sized self-work that could be quite revealing.

Take a moment to read the following statements and give each one a rating of 1 = not like me at all 2 = sometimes like me 3 = often like me

1) I want everything to be perfect - if it's not, I feel increased anxiety and often quite grumpy. If I'm honest with myself, I sometimes look down my nose at people who are 'a bit slapdash'.

2) I want to please other people, so I put my needs last, and feel exhausted a lot of the time. If I'm honest with myself, I know what I need to do for myself, but I'm just not doing it.

3) I often find myself procrastinating, and I don't always know why. I want to get things done but I often get to the end of the day and wonder where the time went. If I'm honest with myself, I know this is limiting my potential, but I can't seem to change my behaviour.

4) I worry A LOT and am often distracted by looping worries or a feeling in my body that something bad is going to happen. If I'm honest with myself, I know I'm not taking care of my wellbeing because of these worries.

5) I feel as though life is so unfair, bad things keep happening to me, and no one understands. If I'm honest with myself, I know I can dwell on the negativity and sometimes use it to get attention or get out of something.

6) I feel a strong need to take control of people or situations, especially when I feel anxious, which results in gripping things too hard and becoming overly directive. If I'm honest with myself, I know this can be intimidating, but I don't know how else to get the job done on time.

How did you do? Where did your mind go? What thoughts did you observe?

How did your body react? Did you avoid doing it?

How tight is your jaw?

Did you hold your breath? Did your facial expression change?

Take 3 grounding breaths before we look back at your scores and get a sense of the unhelpful mindsets that you might be defaulting to when you're under pressure.

Remember. You are still a wonderful person. There's no need to judge yourself as we look at this. We all have unhelpful mindsets that we drop into from time to time. When we bring awareness to that, we give ourselves the choice and opportunity to change things up.

So, here are the mindsets we just assessed (the statement numbers match the list below):

1) Perfectionism

2) People Pleasing

3) Procrastination

4) Hyper-vigilance

5) Victim

6) Controlling

Ouch! It's a little uncomfortable when we begin to see it, right? Breathe. You're doing great.

For your final step, I'd like to offer you 3 reflection questions for each of the above mindsets.

Choose 1 or 2 mindsets that you recognise, jump to the questions, and allow yourself 5 minutes to reflect and answer.

1) Perfectionism

• When did you last delay finishing something because it wasn't 'ready'? What was the real cost of that delay?
• Where in your body do you feel the pressure to be perfect? (chest? jaw? shoulders?) What happens when you breathe into that spot?
• What would 'good enough' look like on your current most important task, and what would you gain by releasing it as is?

2) People Pleasing

• Think of the last time you said "yes" when you wanted to say "no." What did that cost you (time, energy, self-respect)?
• When you put your own needs last, where do you feel that in your body? (tightness? emptiness? fatigue?)
• If you practised saying "I need to check my calendar before I commit" - What's the worst that would realistically happen?

3) Procrastination

• What's one task you're avoiding right now? What feeling comes up when you think about starting it?
• When you procrastinate, what is your body doing? (slumping? scrolling? making tea?) Without judging it, what is your body trying to tell you? Is that message wise or distracting?
• If you committed to just 5 minutes of that task today, what might you discover?

4) Hyper-vigilance

• On a scale of 1-10, how often does your body feel on alert even when nothing urgent is happening? Where do you store that alertness?
• What's one small sign that your nervous system is calming down (e.g. softer belly, slower breath, looser jaw)? When did you last notice that?
• If you scheduled 30 minutes today to simply sit and breathe, with nothing to watch for, what would push back against that? (That pushback is useful data)

5) Victim

• Think of a recent situation where you felt life was unfair. What did you gain from that story? What did it cost you?
• When you're in this mindset, where do you feel heaviest in your body? (chest? stomach? back of the neck?)
• If you rewrote that same situation as "this happened, and now I get to choose my next move" - What changes in your body as you say that?

6) Controlling

• When was the last time you took over something because you didn't trust how it would go otherwise? What message did that send to the other person?
• Where in your body do you feel the grip of needing to control? (hands? chest? forehead?) What happens when you deliberately soften that part for two breaths?
• If you delegated one small thing today and allowed it to be done differently (not wrong, just different), what would you free yourself to focus on?

When we shift our mindset and bring our body with us, people often tell me they feel lighter, happier, more grounded, stronger, more like their true self (which is accurate... it's the TRUE us when our brains aren't firing strong protection signals that pull us off course).

Well done for looking in the mirror today. I hope you've taken something useful away, and if you'd like support keeping that mirror clear, I'm here to help.

Your Next Read: Personal Resilience

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